I am run over by feelings of humiliation, sorrow, hate, anger, and self-disgust.
It seems life really do hate me...
Well logically, I made them hate me.
I only blame my self again for crying while writing this post because I wasn't strong enough to stand my ground.
If you have read my previous post None of Them Matters...
You'll be finding this post is almost the same except it would be the opposite of it...
So if you wish to ignore my post, please do before you got sucked into my dark swirl of emotions.
Thursday, 6th of October 2011,
I got a call from mom about a scholarship interview.
They wanted all my original certificate that I submitted before.
So as a final decision,
I got on a bus home.
Friday, 7th of October 2011,
Went early for the interview.
It went smoothly.
I think so.
Saturday, 8th of October 2011,
I got up at 11,
I think.
My dad ushered me too...
Because there's a few things need to be done by me.
That morning I went to a clinic to ask for slimming pills.
The doctor weighted me and gave me a lecture on the obesity disease.
It it because I'm already in the second class of obesity which is severe for my case of a teenage girl.
I had to toughen up my barrier for his shadow insults as I see it as he was lecturing me...
I went to my defense mode, my smily face to hide my hurt self.
It went well and I survived it.
That evening...
My granny, lil sis, and lil bro got back from our 'kampung'
We went to the bus station to pick them up.
They were surprised to see me there.
Later that night,
My frivolous family member just can't stop his blabbering mouth of my obesity disease...
Everything that came out of his mouth are like poison to my ears.
My mental pressure was already weakened that morning and I didnt have the time to recover my pace.
The result was...
I did try my best to hold the tears in and put on my defense mode, my smily face...
I said my good night and hastily went to my room.
Right then and there,
I cried...
Even as I type this post,
My tears arent showing a sign of slowing down.
I fare thee well in your mental wars and overcome my lost with your victory...
This post is just a post to vent out my shackled feelings that I tied inside my self...
No one was named and it shall remain that way.
Thank you for reading.
Some people are just too blunt-headed to consider others' feelings. Besides, it's not too late for a really young lass like ya ta achieve what ya wanna achieve. XP I didn't wanna leave a comment here cuz I don't wantcha ta relive ya dark memories. But as a friend I felt obliged to comfort you, I meant what I said and I believe you CAN DO IT!!! Gambatte ne, Ain-chan!!! HERE TO SUPPORT YOU ALLLLL THE WAY~ <3 O(^0^)O
ReplyDeleteHohoho~
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot for everything...
I really appreciate it.
>v<