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Monday, March 05, 2012

My heart, soul and body...

March. 3rd. 2012. Monday. 0155.

Due to some complication of my action,
I've made some people fall into a few predicaments in these two past month.

Yes, they got mad at me and scold me and threaten me and all.
I dont mind because I know it is MY fault that it happened that way.
And yet my mind kept contemplating about how stupid I was and how useless I was to the group.
If they were to kick me out of the group,
I was ready for it.
But they went lenient on me by giving me a chance with a warning of course.

Due to that,
It made me feel guilty,
But I know this feeling doesnt last because my heart doesnt bear any remorse to people it met.

Due to that knowledge,
It made me feel sick with myself,
But I know the sickness would pass because my body doesnt even care about it the next day.

Due to that fact,
It made my soul detest myself,
But I know the detestation would brush off because my soul was never there when I told them that I'm sorry.

There was no feeling of guilt nor remorse to that little action I took that day because I was happy on that day.
Thus, the knowledge and feeling of accept-ion just dawned to me as natural as the rising sun.

Do all this make me a terrible human???
Is it really bad to lie about your happiness while other suffer their torment???

I'm confuse with all of this feeling concept.
I wish I could die so that nobody would be hurt by my action anymore.
I would slowly extract myself from society so that they wouldnt notice that I am there anymore.
So this incident will never happen to anybody else.

I would probably not to be miss,
I would probably not to be notice,
I would probably not to be mourn,
I would probably not to be cried,
I would probably not to be scold,
I would definitely...

I dont want to write the next sentence because it would probably arouse the feeling of worry or anger inside of peoples heart.

Thus, I bid ye fair well.

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Islam is for me~

Islam is for me~
الله اكبر الله اكبر
Allah is Great, Allah is Great
الله اكبر كبيرا
Allah is the Greatest
والحمد لله كثيرا
And All praise be to Allah
وسبحان الله بكرة وأصيلا
And glory be to him morning and evening.
ولا اله الا الله وحده
And There is no god but Allah, alone
صدق وعده ونصر عبده وأعز جنده وهزم الاحزاب وحده
He was true to His promise, He granted victory to His follower, He supported His group, And He conquered the parties of evil all by Himself.
لا اله الا الله
There is no god but Allah.
ولا نعبد الا اياه مخلصين له الدين ولو كره الكافرون
we worship no one but Him, we will sincerely follow the religion for Him,
Even against the wishes of the unbelievers.