Cute Bow Tie Hearts Blinking Blue Pointer

Sunday, October 09, 2011

A Bucket of Tears Again...

Today at 2310 hours on the 8th of October 2011,
I am run over by feelings of humiliation, sorrow, hate, anger, and self-disgust.

It seems life really do hate me...
Well logically, I made them hate me.
I only blame my self again for crying while writing this post because I wasn't strong enough to stand my ground.

If you have read my previous post None of Them Matters...
You'll be finding this post is almost the same except it would be the opposite of it...
So if you wish to ignore my post, please do before you got sucked into my dark swirl of emotions.

Thursday, 6th of October 2011,
I got a call from mom about a scholarship interview.
They wanted all my original certificate that I submitted before.
So as a final decision,
I got on a bus home.

Friday, 7th of October 2011,
Went early for the interview.
It went smoothly.
I think so.

Saturday, 8th of October 2011,
I got up at 11,
I think.
My dad ushered me too...
Because there's a few things need to be done by me.

That morning I went to a clinic to ask for slimming pills.
The doctor weighted me and gave me a lecture on the obesity disease.
It it because I'm already in the second class of obesity which is severe for my case of a teenage girl.
I had to toughen up my barrier for his shadow insults as I see it as he was lecturing me...
I went to my defense mode, my smily face to hide my hurt self.
It went well and I survived it.

That evening...
My granny, lil sis, and lil bro got back from our 'kampung'
We went to the bus station to pick them up.
They were surprised to see me there.

Later that night,
My frivolous family member just can't stop his blabbering mouth of my obesity disease...
Everything that came out of his mouth are like poison to my ears.
My mental pressure was already weakened that morning and I didnt have the time to recover my pace.
The result was...
I did try my best to hold the tears in and put on my defense mode, my smily face...
I said my good night and hastily went to my room.
Right then and there,
I cried...
Even as I type this post,
My tears arent showing a sign of slowing down.

I fare thee well in your mental wars and overcome my lost with your victory...

This post is just a post to vent out my shackled feelings that I tied inside my self...
No one was named and it shall remain that way.
Thank you for reading.


  1. Some people are just too blunt-headed to consider others' feelings. Besides, it's not too late for a really young lass like ya ta achieve what ya wanna achieve. XP I didn't wanna leave a comment here cuz I don't wantcha ta relive ya dark memories. But as a friend I felt obliged to comfort you, I meant what I said and I believe you CAN DO IT!!! Gambatte ne, Ain-chan!!! HERE TO SUPPORT YOU ALLLLL THE WAY~ <3 O(^0^)O

  2. Hohoho~
    Thanks a lot for everything...
    I really appreciate it.


Islam is for me~

Islam is for me~
الله اكبر الله اكبر
Allah is Great, Allah is Great
الله اكبر كبيرا
Allah is the Greatest
والحمد لله كثيرا
And All praise be to Allah
وسبحان الله بكرة وأصيلا
And glory be to him morning and evening.
ولا اله الا الله وحده
And There is no god but Allah, alone
صدق وعده ونصر عبده وأعز جنده وهزم الاحزاب وحده
He was true to His promise, He granted victory to His follower, He supported His group, And He conquered the parties of evil all by Himself.
لا اله الا الله
There is no god but Allah.
ولا نعبد الا اياه مخلصين له الدين ولو كره الكافرون
we worship no one but Him, we will sincerely follow the religion for Him,
Even against the wishes of the unbelievers.